Watch Boy & Lucky Girl

  • Hi, guys! I don't know how many of you visit Fanfiction net regularly, so maybe a few of you already know about this story, but I would like to share it here too, if it's ok.

    Watch Boy & Lucky Girl

    Summary: 16-year-old Ben Tennyson finds a strange watch that can turn him into aliens. And Gwen has to make sure her doofus cousin doesn't get himself killed with it.

    Interesting things about the story:

    • There is an Alien Registration Act, some prejudice against aliens and terrorist aliens too. I tried to make a realistic take on a world where aliens are a thing.
    • Gwen gets her magical powers pretty early in the story, and Verdona is not Ben and Gwen's paternal grandmother, she is Gwen's maternal grandmother, unrelated to Ben (explaining why Ben doesn't have magical powers like Gwen).
    • I try to adapt episodes from the show every once in a while, I already adapted And Then There Were Ten (the Prologue), A Change of Face and Goodbye and Good Riddance. But it's a different take on the episodes, not a straight-forward adaptation.
    • Ben and Gwen's relationship development takes center stage in the story. But even if you don't mind Bwen, I think there are enough elements to keep you hooked on the story anyway (But if you HATE Bwen, it's better not to read)

    Problems about the story

    • A few grammar errors. I'm brazilian, my english is not perfect, and I couldn't find a beta reader.
    • I'm not very descriptive.
    • Sometimes things feel a little rushed. While I don't think the romance parts are shoved down the readers' throats (cough Alien Force cough), I also know I could've handled some things better.

    If you want to take a look, and give your opinion, suggestions or critic, I will greatly appreciate.

    (If you want a link to the portuguese version, just ask me and I will put it here too)

  • @csgt I read the story a few days back, and I've got to say, it was way better than most stories on the site. A little grammar error here and there is completely acceptable, and no, the story does not feel rushed...but hey, when are you planning to update it?
    Can't wait.....

  • @zed_EC Thank you very much!!

    Yes, as I said, I do have some problems with the grammar. I hope I can get a beta reader in the future.

    I'm currently translating the story to portuguese (I published it in english because I knew it would have a bigger public, but eventually I decided to translate the story to my native language, portuguese, and publish it in a brazilian site too) and I should finish the translation in a day or two, then I will start writing the next chapter. So I should be able to update again next week probably.

    Are you a registered user on Fanfiction net? What's your name there?

    Thanks again.

  • ya I am on fanfiction...by the name of zedEC
    I've not written anything yet but I have a story in my mind and I'll be writing it soon...
    So I guess you have the complete story on your mind? Will Kevin make an entry into the story ( as a negative character, of course) ?

  • @zed_EC Yes, I do have plans for Kevin. His relationship with Ben and Gwen will probably mirror the relationship between Peter Parker, Mary Jane Watson and Harry Osborn from the first Spider-Man trilogy.

    If you want, you can follow the story on FF net, so you will get an e-mail notification when the next chapter is up.

  • I'm currently rewriting this story.
    The new link is:

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